Fog

I am watching the fog over the ocean that stubbornly stays touching the waves, ignoring the wind who wants to sweep it away.
I am closing a chapter, a chapter of my life.
I realized in the last days that I have been stubbornly ignoring that it is time to grow. I have been oblivious to my own qualities and depending too much in the appreciation and love of others.
I feel so sad; I have been looking for so long at the wrong wall.
But no, there is no love out there, I am just the choreographer. The person that creates and gives a job, the person that organizes and pays. Is this wrong? No, it is the way it is, I just have been ignoring that it is a fact.
I should begin to love myself, beginning with a big hug and telling myself: “Andrea, you did it” and be proud of myself. But while I keep searching for appreciation and love, I will keep staying blind to my own achievements.
Two months ago my demons exposed themselves in front of me; I was hurt, very hurt and confused. And this hurt continued, until I hit rock bottom. I know I have two options, to sink or to change. But to be able to change, I have to close this chapter and turn the page. If I don’t do it, I will keep hurting myself.




SMILE AWAY THE PAINS

Though gray streaks of sorrow
Permeate our hearts
Today we shall roll our carts
Before the sun be blue, we’ll borrow
Sunbeams to shine our smile
And away with all the terrible bile
Of regrets and pains
That pierce so deep
Like the rains
Of tiny needles
On our hearts.

Away with all the night sprites
That haunt our bedsides when we sleep
And fill our minds with frights.

The sunshine has been drawn!
Smile for our new dawn
Of great hopes,
Away from the mires
Of depression bathing the fires
Of unhappiness and despairs
That bind our beings like ropes…
Smile away the pains.

Francis Ohanyido